Why We Stay Married
This is what the lord says: "Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest in your souls." —Jeremiah 6:16
My husband and I reached a crisis point, dealing with an issue that had to be resolved one way or the other. I wasn't sure how I could stay in the marriage if things continued as they were.
We sought the help of a counselor, and I was surprised when he asked, "Do you know why you're staying together, or is it just an unquestioned sense of duty? Why have you chosen to stick it out?"
Staying together, I realized, was not the same as "sticking it out, no matter what." In sticking things out, we only seemed to remain stuck. But I believed that God could do anything, didn't I? Was I really trusting him with my marriage?
My husband and I came to the point where we could focus on working though our problems with all the energy and commitment we had. I chose our marriage above all the other possibilities—leaving, ignoring the problems, going my own way while living under the same roof—and I continue to make that choice every day.
Love is both risky and immensely rewarding precisely because it is something freely chosen and freely given. Remove the element of choice and you cut out the very heart of love. Marriage that does not rest on this kind of love may be tight-lipped commitment, but it's not all that God had in mind when he created marriage.