Red Alert!

How to tell if your marriage is approaching a danger zone

Is your marriage headed toward lasting bliss or a breakup? For a clue to what the future might hold, look at how you and your spouse relate to each other. This quiz will help you identify any potentially destructive patterns that you need to start changing now, before they do permanent damage.

Circle one number after each statement to indicate how often you and your mate relate in that way.

1 = almost never
2 = once in a while
3 = frequently

1. Little arguments escalate into ugly fights with accusations, criticisms, name calling or bringing up past hurts.

1 2 3

2. My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings or desires.

1 2 3

3. My partner seems to view my words or actions more negatively than I mean them to be.

1 2 3

4. When we have a problem to solve, it is like we are on opposite teams.

1 2 3

5. I hold back from telling my spouse what I really think and feel.

1 2 3

6. I think seriously about what it would be like to be married to someone else.

1 2 3

7. I feel lonely in this relationship.

1 2 3

8. When we argue, one of us withdraws … that is, doesn't want to talk about it anymore or leaves the scene.

1 2 3

Total Score ______________

What Your Score Means

If you and your spouse both take this quiz, you may want to share your total scores. However, we don't advise sharing each individual response—especially your responses to question six. Doing so would invite trouble if you are struggling in this area. If you do share your reactions to the other statements, pick a time when you are both in a constructive mood and able to respond peacefully.

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May 25

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