A Better Fit

One size of spiritual gifting doesn't fit all or even "most"—or me

When I got married, I received something I'd wanted for a long time: a beautiful KitchenAid mixer. But after setting up house, I realized I had no idea how to use the bulky contraption. It looked professional and impressive, but I already had a simpler electric hand mixer. So I found myself owning a gift I was now unsure I wanted. I'd heard its uses were amazing, but I hadn't experienced them.

Sometimes a spiritual gift feels like an expensive KitchenAid mixer; we want to have one, but we're not sure what it does and even less sure how to use it.

Life without Limits

As a teenager, I heard that we should discover our gifts by taking a spiritual gifts test. It sounded accessible and easy. A natural test-taker, I discovered a smattering of gifts that matched my personality and seemed to make sense. Some of my friends didn't seem to fare as well, feeling their tests came back all "vanilla." In the end, many lost confidence in this whole spiritual gift thing. But God gives regardless of our man-made inventories.

The lists gleaned from New Testament passages are more like starter kits, designed to get our creative juices flowing. The rest of Scripture doesn't give tidy, predictable ways for understanding the Spirit's work, so why would we expect the "gifts inventory" to be so neat and tidy? When the Spirit first filled people in the New Testament, he was like a violent wind, uncontainable and life altering. The Spirit's gifts range from speech to a donkey to prison breaks (Numbers 22:28, Judges 15:14). He's hardly limited by our list.

The Pink or Blue Question

Often I've mused how much more practical and comfortable it would be to have the gift of serving instead of my gifts of teaching and exhortation. If I had the gift of serving, I could imagine myself happily on the sidelines supporting my husband's ministry, preparing sustenance (healthy snacks for the road) and encouragement (sweet notes tucked in his suitcase) without the distraction of my own busy schedule.

But our gifts are a lot alike—mine and his—and I sometimes find others don't welcome or know what to do with a female working alongside her husband. Frankly, I puzzle at finding a fit for my spiritual gifts both in my family and in outside outlets.

At rare times it feels like a man should have gotten my bundle, not a woman who loves kids and homemaking. But I don't see support for the argument that the Spirit reserves some gifts just for men. The Spirit of God has the power, the freedom, and the joy to distribute his gifts "to each one, just as he determines" (1 Corinthians 12:11).

Free CT Women Newsletter

Sign up today for our weekly newsletter: Marriage & Family Newsletter. CT's weekly newsletter to help women grow their marriage and family relationships through biblical principles.

Read These Next

  • Related Issue
    Prefer the Given
    Learning to look at our (crazy, busy, stressful, less-than-satisfying) lives with grateful eyes
  • Editor's PickHow to Love an Atheist
    How to Love an Atheist
    A former atheist shares 5 compelling principles

For Further StudyFor Further StudyDownloadable resources to go deeper


Join in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter

May 25

Follow Us

More Newsletters