I realized my interactions with my husband consisted mainly of reactions. By definition, reactions happen in an instant, before you have time to think. But while I couldn't change the way I reacted on a daily basis, I could change the way I intentionally acted. I usually spend time planning what I will do each day and scheduling my kids' activities, but I don't spend any time planning how I will interact with my husband. I needed to change this.
To help myself interact more intentionally with my husband, I implemented some common guidelines often used for setting business goals and New Year's resolutions: I set a daily goal that would be both measurable and attainable.
A measurable goal is something that can be quantified, as opposed to a qualitative goal. For example, I originally made it a goal to "be nicer" to my husband, but that was not something measurable or concrete to work toward. Whether or not I accomplished the goal was completely subjective based on who was evaluating my performance. Instead, an example of a measurable goal would be to compliment him once a day. At the end of the day, I could say that I either did it or didn't do it.
An attainable goal is something reasonable to work toward so that I'm not setting myself up for failure. For example, cooking his favorite meal once a month might be attainable, while cooking something he loves every single day would probably leave me feeling defeated and exhausted after just a couple of meals.