Coming soon to TodaysChristianWoman.com—a beautiful new design. Get an early look

Jump directly to the content
Guest | Limited Access

Subsciber access onlyarticle preview

Available to TCW subscribers only. or subscribe now.

One Thing Remains

Vulnerability, transparency, and true love played large roles in Christa Black’s healing journey away from abuse and toward marriage and motherhood.

No First PageNo Previous PagePage 1 of 4Next PageLast Page

Christa Black is a self-described "dreamer," a whimsical vocalist and composer whose songs have garnered impressive accolades, including the composition of "One Thing Remains," an award-winning worship song made famous by Jesus Culture that recently hit number one on the Billboard Christian charts. With such creativity, one would think she would be a romantic as well. But early in her career, while touring with Michael W. Smith, she scoffed at the idea of love at first sight. So the irony of meeting her husband, Lucas, wasn't lost on her.

"I had just got done telling Michael that love at first sight doesn't happen anymore—I wanted it to, but I knew it wasn't real," Christa says. "The next week, it happened to me. When I first met Lucas, he shook my hand and knew. He went out, called his mom, and said, 'I just met my future wife.'"Looking back on that first meeting, Christa realizes it wasn't just happenstance. Her marriage and subsequent motherhood were part of God's healing from a past of abuse, eating disorders, and performance addiction. Prior to meeting Lucas, Christa had started blogging about her struggles, and a mutual friend of theirs suggested to Lucas that he read the blog. After six years of marriage, Christa realizes how deeply Lucas has been part of her healing journey.

"Lucas is very anchored and he such a rock," Christa says. "I am such a dreamer, so our balance is beautiful. He just loved me. His consistency of saying, 'You are a wreck, but I still love you,' is what helped change me. He was the hands and feet of Jesus in the midst of my issues."

Healing from sexual abuse

Christa's issues—self-loathing, insecurity and perfectionism—resulted from sexual trauma. She has early memories of being sexually abused by a worker at her mom's furniture store, and despite growing up in a loving Christian home with her pastor dad, mom, and brother, the abuse ignited feelings of shame and unworthiness.

To compensate for feeling dirty and unlovable, she became a "performance addict," excelling academically, musically, and always trying to achieve socially. She believed she was ugly and needed to have the perfect body. By the time she was a teenager, she was binging and purging regularly. She continued in that cycle for years, hiding her eating disorder from friends and family.

One night, she called home when she had reached the end of herself. She was exhausted by her struggle and without the strength to live, but she lacked the courage to actually kill herself. She entered treatment in a rehab facility and wrote music as part of her healing.

article preview

This article is currently available to TCW subscribers only.

To Continue Reading:

Maria Cowell

Maria Cowell is a writer living in Los Angeles and a regular contributor to TCW. Follow her on Twitter at @HipMamaMedia or at HipMamaMedia.com

Sign up for TCW's free Marriage Partnership e-newsletter for weekly updates and encouragement through the joys, trials, and tribulations of marriage.

read these next

for further study

Downloadable resources to go deeper

Your Guide to Sexual Satisfaction

God's plan for sex is multidimensional-here's how to move past making pleasure your goal to seek a more intimate connection with your spouse.
(TCWStore.com)

Living Water

A three-session Bible study designed to quench your soul thirst and invite others in.
(TCWStore.com)

Practicing Contentment

In our culture, we have more, but seem to enjoy life less. Here are tips on how to foster deep, counter-cultural contentment in your life.
(TCWStore.com)

Sexual Temptation

Desire happens. Here's how to keep a misled God-given desire from ruining our lives.
(TCWStore.com)
Today's Christian Woman
One Thing Remains