Feeling a Victim's Pain: When her daughter was murdered and another daughter attacked and left for dead, Lorraine Whoberry fought for answers but was ignored. Now she fights on behalf of victims' families everywhere.

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Feeling a Victim's Pain

When her daughter was murdered and another daughter attacked and left for dead, Lorraine Whoberry fought for answers but was ignored. Now she fights on behalf of victims' families everywhere.

Ann Byle

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Lorraine and her husband, Richard, whom she married in 2006, now live in Ohio, a good distance from the home in Virginia where her daughter's murder occurred. The killer was convicted a year and a half after the attack and was executed in March 2010. Kristie is now 27. Though she recovered from her injuries with little permanent physical damage, the emotional and psychological scars remain. Lorraine works 60 hours a week at the S.T.A.C.I.E. Foundation without taking a salary, whether traveling, speaking, bookkeeping, fund raising, or preparing her talks.

"I want the S.T.A.C.I.E. Foundation to go international. We've done a lot of work in the United States, but I see a much broader picture now, and God is preparing us for something bigger," says Lorraine. "I want to build a team of people willing to share their stories and go into prisons. Everybody has a story, and the only way we can walk through that is to talk about it. I want to show people through my experience that they aren't walking this journey of grief alone, that someone is there with them."

Ann Byle is a TCW regular contributor and literary agent with Credo Communications.

For more information about the S.T.A.C.I.E. Foundation, or to donate money, go to www.staciefoundation.org, or write S.T.A.C.I.E. Foundation, P. O. Box 317747, Cincinnati, Ohio 45231

How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving

What do you say to someone who is grieving? How can you help? Lorraine Whoberry offers advice on what to do and say amid the worst circumstances.

Offer simple words spoken sincerely, such as, "I'm so sorry for your loss."
While hugs are appreciated, be sure first to ask so as not to intrude on the griever's personal space.
Send a card, balloons, or flowers when words fail.
Admit "I don't know how you feel," then offer assurances that they aren't alone in their grief.
"You're in my thoughts and prayers" offers great comfort, as does, "I'm just a phone call away," which lets them know you're willing to be there anytime they need to talk, vent, or cry.
Talk about the person who is gone, which lets those left behind know they are free to talk about their loved one; sharing memories can bring joy amidst the sorrow.
Say nothing; just being with the person in grief can speak volumes.

Worst things to say?