Jump directly to the content
Killing the Lies

Killing the Lies

Through True ID conferences around the U. S., Casey Schutrop is helping women and girls understand their identity and purpose.
Average Rating:
Not rated5 Comments

A mother told me a rumor was circulating around school that her daughter was pregnant, so the mom considered sending her to a different school. It turns out the daughter, herself, started the rumor. Abandoned by her dad when this girl was three, she had a habit of doing things to seek attention. She was "the odd student out" in the youth group, the one others shied away from. She believed nobody could love her.

That's one of many lies today's young women believe.

While mentoring one on one, counseling, and traveling to speak and teach, I've been grieved to discover that we as women can believe many lies about ourselves that affect our marriages and our children's spiritual identity. There is so much "head-knowledge," yet no "heart-knowing." What's the disconnect?

As I prayed and tried to find reasons why women are susceptible to lies, I discovered one study that reported 70-80 percent of Christian youth are leaving the church after they are on their own. This statistic shook me. Without the foundational truth of Scripture and a supportive community of believers to guide and grow young women into faithful adults, this generation faces a slippery slope. As a result of these findings, three years ago my husband and I chose to start True ID Conferences. We take our message around the country, and, using interactive learning and hands-on activities, we help teen and college-age women discover who they are in Christ. As we've interacted with young women, we've discovered messages they tend to believe from the world and the media:

"I was a mistake," one girl wrote. "I shouldn't be here."

Another wrote, "[I'm] not pretty enough, not smart enough, not skinny enough. I will never find a husband who will love me for who not what I am."

My heart broke as I read more:

  • I deserved to be abused. I needed to cause myself pain.
  • I believe my dad does not love me, that his girlfriend is more important.
  • I don't feel anything.
  • My sin will never be forgotten. Love is only conditional on the good things I do. If I mess up, God won't love me.
  • I'll never measure up.
  • I thought I had to be someone else for people to like me. I thought I had to conform.
  • I belong in darkness.
  • Drugs will cure you. Satan is better than God. No one cares about me.

Why the lies? The Baucham study reveals that more than 80 percent of teens who claim to be born again do not believe in the existence of absolute truth. Additionally, 63 percent don't believe Jesus is the Son of the one true God.

No First PageNo Previous PagePage 1 of 4Next PageLast Page

Sign up for TCW's free e-newsletter, Lifework with Diane Paddison, for biweekly updates and encouragement for women who desire to pursue God through their calling and career.

not a subscriber?

Subscribe for only $9.95 yearly!
Start here for complete access to Today's Christian Woman—a mentor to help you love God more deeply and live fearlessly.

Next Steps

Downloadable resources to go deeper

Growing Faith in Your Growing Teen

Your key role in nurturing your child's spiritual development

ratings & comments

Average User Rating: Not rated

Displaying 1–3 of 5 comments

Micole L. Spicer

July 19, 2013  4:09pm

@Mothra and @Former Christian I am sorry that both of you have experienced this hurt in church. God is loving, faithful, loyal and kind. God has an awesome plan for your lives! You are gifted, talented, creative, strong, attractive and lovable! Don't believe lies! There are great Bible believing churches( I am a member of a fabulous church!). Be encouraged! keep your eyes focused on Christ. Study the word of God. Ask God to lead you to a church that teaches the word of God correctly adn where the people are kind, loving and living out how Christianity is suppose to be lived. If you are on twitter you can contact me @mspicer1994.

Report Abuse


July 18, 2013  10:20am

One area Christians can help females find their true purpose and value: stop harping on marriage and children, please. Even today, churches and preachers keep uttering the lie that a woman's only, or highest calling, is to be a wife and mother. And Christians fret endlessly about the supposed downfall of traditional marriage, declining birth rates, etc. And what of women who never marry - they want to get married, but cannot find a partner? What of women who do marry but who are infertile? How do you think the messages that marriage and parenting is all that matters impacts them (it makes them feel like trash, that's what it does)? The Bible affirms singlehood, but most American Christians do not... they hold marriage up like it's the ultimate prize in life, which is an un-biblical view point, but also out of step with the times, as up to 45% or more of adults today in the USA -even Christians- are single.

Report Abuse


July 18, 2013  10:17am

@Former Christian. Post Script. Don't worry about being infertile. There are some men, Christian and Non Christian, who are what is called "child free." Child Free are people who know they do not want children, and the Christian child free men in particular, worry on forums for the child free that they may never find a Christian wife, because most Christian women want children - they are looking for a woman who does not want kids, or who can never have them. Then I am sure there are guys who will love you for you, and even if they wanted kids, would still be happy to marry you. I think part of the problem is that Christians, including publications like this one, rarely address Christians who fall out side of the mainstream... for example, I don't recall Christianity Today ever doing an article about Christian Child Free people (Christians who have no desire to have children, and who never want any), which makes people who fall out of the "norm" wonder if they are all alone or weirdos.

Report Abuse

Rate and comment on this article: *



1000 character limit

* Comments may be edited for tone and clarity.

More For Women
Gifted for Leadership

gifted for leadership

The Leadership Journal blog inspires and connects women leaders in church ministry
Her Meneutics


The Christianity Today  women's site provides news and analysis for evangelical women