A Decent Proposal

How to take the high road in a low-rise, skin-is-in society

There's a Hooters restaurant in my town, and I struggle each time I drive by it. Although I can hardly see in, that doesn't matter. It's my thoughts of how the waitresses dress that count. It's proof Satan works feverishly not just to tempt a man's eyes but also to infiltrate and control his imagination.

My husband, Bob, wrote those words. While Bob's a godly man in full-time Christian ministry, he, like most men, can be tempted by sexual images. But he's not afraid to talk about it, and that separates him from many.

The truth is, Christian men struggle deeply with visual temptation and mental sexual sin. Ask more than half of the men who attended a recent Promise Keepers conference and admitted to viewing pornography the week preceding the event. Ask the pastors struggling with online porn who regularly call Focus on the Family's pastoral care line.

Recently the men Bob ministers to have admitted there's a new place where temptation's a problem. "I'm struggling with the way women dress in church," they confess. It's the placement of the temptation that makes them feel so vulnerable. What's a guy to do when the same woman in his Sunday school class keeps coming in wearing a mini-skirt and tight shirt? Not much—except maybe sit in the front row.

Fuel on the Fire

I recently got an interesting e-mail from a young single woman who expressed the crisis many of us face:

"I'm 23 and was raised in a Christian home where modesty was taught. It wasn't until my college years that I began to realize how attractive men found my 4'9", 98-lb. body. Suddenly I had their attention. I work with the youth at my church and my pastor's wife has mentioned to me on several occasions that my skirts are too short or my shirts cut too low. But I always retaliate by saying I'm not going to dress like my grandma, and if a guy can't look at me without thinking of sex, that's his problem."

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May 25

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