Language Lessons

To be a successful lover, you have to communicate with and without words.

Gifts. A gift says, She was thinking about me. Look what she got for me. Gifts don't need to be expensive. Haven't we always said, "It's the thought that counts"? With gifts, it isn't what you give, but how often you give that communicates love.

Acts of Service. The Bible tells us to love not only in word but in action (1 John 3:18). Acts of service include: washing the car, walking the dog, changing the baby, or whatever needs doing.

Quality Time. This means giving your spouse undivided attention. Maybe it's a picnic, a weekend away, or just muting the TV. The important thing is the two of you are focused on each other.

Physical Touch. We've long known the emotional power of physical touch. Holding hands; embracing; a back rub; even putting your hand on your mate's leg while you drive.

Revealing questions

So how do you discover your spouse's love language? Answer the following:

"How does my spouse most often express love to me?" If they give you words of affirmation, that may be their love language. They're giving you what they wish to receive.

"What does my spouse complain about most often?" Our complaints reveal our deepest desires. Suzanne complained, "We don't have time for each other. We don't talk." Quality Time was her love language.

"What does my spouse request most often?" If your spouse routinely asks, "Would you help me make the bed?" "Would you give the children a bath tonight?" then Acts of Service may be his or her primary love language.

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Communication; Marriage; Needs
Today's Christian Woman, Spring, 2004
Posted September 12, 2008

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