A Marriage with Something Real

With God's help, refuse to settle for "fine."

Our marriages face tremendous pressure to build on that same false assurance of peace. It's a call to just keep on doing what's being done around us because it's fine. We're fine! The "Peace, peace" mantra glosses over the impact of settling for false promises and fake love.

To that we all say, "We know. Honestly! We get it already. See the flicker of realization in our eyes? We know that glitz is less than what God has to offer. We know what we are doing."

But if that is true, then why are a lot of marriages—the ones not in crisis or fighting addictions or broken to the point of divorce—still so … mediocre?

Perhaps the problem is that the version of "peace" in most married lives is a little harder to detect. We can all attest that on occasion we claim things are "fine" when they are not really fine. Especially in our marriages. Most often, things stay the same. We might wish they were different, but "same" becomes "fine." And if we look good from the outside, we settle for "fine."

Rejecting the "peace" mantra can take us only so far. If we exchange it for a more kindly but still weak version of marriages that are "fine," we will stay in a cycle of feeling vulnerable instead of strong.

Refuse to Settle

My husband and I very nearly heartbreakingly, agonizingly divorced in our early years. Standing at that precipice taught both of us that God's benchmark for success in a marriage is different than that of the world. Regular churchgoers our whole lives, we also realized that God's benchmark for success in a marriage is often different than a lot of marriages we see in church.

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May 25

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