Finding a Great Husband Doesn't Just "Happen"

5 things I wish my mom had told me about dating and preparing for marriage
1) Marriage doesn't just "happen."

Marriage doesn't come about when the stars align and you lock eyes with someone across the room. That happens in movies, but not real life. I wandered through my 20s assuming that a great guy would stumble into my life. Meanwhile, I worked long hours, hung out at an all-women's gym, moved around the country and thought about marriage about once a year. Nope, marriage comes to those who prepare for it, are open to meeting quality people, and are living intentionally and realistically. They have chucked the idea of finding "The One" for the opportunity to give sacrificially in a relationship and expect the same in return. The years I spent waiting for John F. Kennedy, Jr., to fly to Colorado and find me at Starbucks could've been spent more productively. Just sayin'.

2) You're not one of the guys.

I grew up being told that I was just as smart, funny, capable and full of potential as the boys. Fine. So why did I always have to prove it? Starting in high school and continuing until, oh, a few years ago, I was in direct competition with the men in my life. In school, in the workplace—even at church. At the same time, I was every guy's buddy. I hung out with them, debated them, even dressed like them (hello, baseball jerseys and Chuck Taylors). This effectively made me invisible. I also found plenty of time to put guys down, belittling them at every opportunity. All in good fun, right? Not really. I found myself giving my guy friends advice on winning the hearts of the girls they liked; you know, the girls who were fun and kind, not sarcastic and self-important like me.

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Communication; Dating; Husbands; Relationships; Singleness; Trusting God; Wives
Today's Christian Woman, December Week 1, 2013
Posted November 26, 2013

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