"Me" Time in Marriage

Why spending quality time apart makes my marriage stronger
"Me" Time in Marriage

I enjoy being with my husband, but I also need "me" time. He doesn't really understand, though. How do I explain that to him without hurting his feelings?

My short answer: welcome to marriage—to the beautiful, hard, life-changing, frustrating, wonderful thing that it is to be in a marriage relationship.

My marriage has shaped and transformed me in a thousand ways. But what I'm finding is that while we do change along the way—we rub off on each other, we compromise, we learn from each other—there is still an essential self that we bring to the marriage, and it doesn't—and shouldn't—change much.

I'd put the need for "me" time in that category. I imagine you needed alone time when you were a little girl, and when you were in high school, and at every point along the way before you were married. That's how God made you. And moving into a committed relationship with your husband doesn't change the way God made you.

It sounds as if your husband needs less alone time than you do, though, and that sometimes he takes that need of yours personally, as though you don't want to be with him, or that you need something he can't give you.

On one hand it's great that he wants to spend time with you. I know couples who are married but seem to live and do everything separately! So it's important to acknowledge your gratitude for his desire to be with you. But it's also important for you to share your need—before you get so "me" time depleted that you explode!

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Commitment; Communication; Compromise; Happiness; Respect; Time
Today's Christian Woman, March/April , 2013
Posted March 13, 2013

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