When You're Attracted to Someone Who Isn't Your Spouse

5 ways to handle this temptation

The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also be a cheating woman.

Relationship expert Bonnie Eaker Weil reported on ABC’s 20/20 her findings that more than 50 percent of married women are sexually unfaithful. That statistic doesn’t take into consideration the countless others who are entangled in emotional affairs and fantasies.

Every married woman is at risk for an affair. If you say, “No, I’d never do that!” take to heart what Paul wrote, “If you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!” (1 Corinthians 10:12).

Every affair begins with a temptation—an attraction. Unfortunately, most of us have no idea what to do when a man other than your husband starts to pay attention to you. It feels good to be pursued again, especially if your marriage is in the doldrums.

Right after Paul told us to be careful not to fall, he gave some very practical advice about how to handle temptation: “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13, NIV).

While temptation is unavoidable, sin is still inexcusable. Even if you feel overwhelmingly attracted to another man (or woman), unfaithfulness doesn’t have to be your destiny. God has promised to provide a way out for those who are willing to run to him.

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Juli Slattery

Juli Slattery is a TCW regular contributor and blogger. A widely known clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and broadcast media professional, she co-founded Authentic Intimacy and is the co-author of Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?

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May 25

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