I remember watching Wonder Woman as a girl. An invisible jet was her ultra-cool way of escaping danger or coming to the rescue. Although being invisible is an asset when you’re a superhero, it’s not very empowering as a wife.
Maybe you know how it feels to be invisible. Maybe you put on a pretty dress, but your husband doesn’t comment on it. Maybe after work your husband is more interested in the nightly news than you, or he plays video games while you wait for him in bed. Maybe you’re co-existing at home, no longer catching eyes or capturing each other’s attention. You’re doing your best to get his attention . . . but it’s just not working.
A few years ago when we had a baby, a toddler, and a kindergartner, it was my husband who felt invisible while I was preoccupied with the kids. Before dinner one evening, I told everyone to dress up crazy. The theme was “everything in the wrong place.” I figured this would buy me some time to cook. My son came to dinner with (clean) underwear on his head. My daughter was wearing socks on her hands, and to my surprise, my husband, James, dressed up too. He came to the table wearing shorts . . . and diapers. He stuck a diaper over his shorts, and more diapers were strewn across his chest diagonally like Rambo with his ammunition. Is this what a grown man has to do to get some attention around here?! I thought.
Sometimes it takes a shock treatment like the Rambo diapers to be seen by your spouse. However, a subtle adjustment may be all you need to make a big difference.1