Confessions of a Former Erotica Author

Francine Rivers wrestles with mommy porn

I had the opportunity to have coffee with Francine Rivers, bestselling author of Redeeming Love. Francine used to write erotic historical fiction. She offers insight into how erotica is a harmful escape, both to the author and reader. You can listen to our conversation here! -Juli

My heart is heavy. I don’t even know where to start. An interview with Dr. Juli Slattery’s “Java With Juli” radio program a few days ago opened doors of thought I would have preferred left closed. Conviction is never pleasant, but always life-changing. We talked women’s issues and the sharp rise of women reading erotica. I spoke from my own experience as a woman who attended college in the '60s when the “free love” movement started.

Without going into details, I will say I bought the lies and followed the crowd. Loose morals bring brokenness and devastation. I felt ashamed, used, and guilty for giving myself away and putting myself into dangerous situations, one of which ended in a date rape. I’ve shared my story before about reconnecting with a longtime friend from my hometown and how we married. We recently celebrated our 45th wedding anniversary. We were in love then and are still in love. But our relationship hasn’t always been rosy, largely because of the emotional wreckage I brought into our marriage because of my past.

No matter how much you love someone, it’s hard to trust when you’ve been through the mine field and had pieces of you blown away. Even when you end a bad relationship, some things stay like shrapnel; multiple “lovers,” pregnancy, abortion, then marrying a man I respect and love, miscarrying his babies because of what abortion did to my body. Having babies and realizing the truth: there is no difference between a live birth and an abortion; both are children. One was killed to cover my sin, three more died because of what I allowed to be done to my body, and by the grace of God, I have three children, now grown, and grandchildren—added, undeserved blessings.

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May 25

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