As I was sitting and reading my daily devotions recently, I came to a prayer in the book Arms Open Wide by Sherri Gragg: “Too often I have turned to you in fear and asked: Oh Lord, don’t you care?”
As I read the prayer out loud, something in me broke, and I started crying, all too vividly remembering the many times I’ve cried out to God about my desire for a family, children, traditions, people to grow old with, and a husband to hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay. I cried, remembering all the years of waiting, of enduring the space between “no longer” and “not yet,” and reliving all the moments when I’ve felt forgotten by the God who claims to love me. I recalled the countless instances of frustration and impatience and even despair as the birthdays pass, and my situation seemingly grows more and more hopeless. I might never find the simplest and most complicated of life’s blessings: someone to love who also loves me.
Oh Lord, don’t you care?
And then, suddenly, in the silence of my warm and simple apartment, a still, small voice spoke words of comfort clearly and directly into my soul. I felt such beautiful reassurance of the Lord’s love and goodness, of his protection, of his care.
It was one of those rare, almost impossible to attain moments where I felt Jesus carrying me, holding me close. It was a fleeting glimpse into the depth of his love for me—all really was calm, and all really was bright.
Then the voice asked me: If there is never a husband—if it’s always just you and me—will you still follow me?
There was no pause in my spirit. No need to stop and think. Only one answer that rang true, loud, and clear in my heart: Yes, Jesus. I will follow you. I will trust you, and I will follow you through the waiting.
Waiting and Surrender
The waiting. Oh, this sometimes endless and frustrating and even hopeless season of waiting. Wait is a word I keep hearing whispered into my spirit these days, and it’s a word I’m learning to appreciate more and more because I know that all good and beautiful blessings from God take time. Abraham waited 25 years for his promised child. Joseph waited 13 years in slavery for his promised destiny. Moses waited 40 years for the Promised Land. And even Jesus waited! He waited 30 years—mostly hidden, quiet, unassuming years—to begin his earthly ministry that would change the world.
We can learn so much during the hard process of waiting. In difficult seasons of waiting, God nudges me to constantly remember how utterly and completely dependent I am on him. He prompts me to lay down my own dreams and goals and plans and surrender entirely to his. And it is only after I stop chasing success and start chasing him that I can be truly successful—on his terms.
I think that’s the bigger picture God longs for us single ladies to see with the whole “waiting for love” thing. The waiting isn’t about God withholding something good from us—it’s about him showing us that the ultimate good we could ever desire is found in him alone. It has always been him. It will always be him. After all, he is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end, the one who was and is and is to come (Revelation 1:8).
Trusting Through the Waiting
So, yes, Jesus, I will trust you and follow you, even if I never get married, because I know that the waiting isn’t about punishment—it may actually be about protection. It’s about preparing me for your blessings instead of just launching me into a relationship before I’m ready.
This season of waiting is for cultivating strength, faith, and obedience to surrender to your good and perfect plan instead of clinging to my imperfect one. It’s about you loving me too fiercely to allow me to settle for anything less than complete fulfillment in you.
I will trust you, and I will follow you like the disciples followed you—sometimes directly into the storm but always directly into their destiny. I will follow you no matter what.
I don’t entirely grasp what this means nor do I know if I’ll ever be married, but I do know that in this moment, in him, I have peace and joy and completeness. And tomorrow I might doubt again, but his mercies are new every morning, and my weakness doesn’t surprise God or test his strength. He loves me. And he loves you.
I think God plays different roles for all of us, but he plays an especially unique role in the lives of single women who seek and wait on him. And really, Jesus knows what the single path looks like because he walked it. Psalm 27:14 tells us to “Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD.” And today, I will wait.
I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow. But I am precious to him. You are precious to him. And today, that’s all that matters.