The story goes something like this: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl plan wedding. Boy and girl ask their people to stand in front of church in matching outfits. Boy and girl live happily ever after.
But there’s one part of the story that rarely gets covered in this script: What happens to boy and girl’s single friends after they get married?
It can be tricky to navigate cross-life-stage friendships. From a logistical standpoint, your schedules and availability don’t always match. Maybe you’re trying to spend quality time with your spouse in the evenings or running your kids to soccer practice when your friend is available to hang out.
And on an emotional level, you may be facing different challenges and celebrating different victories. While you’re mired in potty training, your friend is muddling through online dating profiles. Is it even possible to maintain close relationships with your single friends after you’re married?
Although there are challenges inherent to these relationships, the benefits far outweigh any awkwardness. When you have a friendship that transcends life stage, you know that you value each other for who you are. You aren’t friends simply because you’re in the same dorm or because your kids are in the same class; you’re friends because there’s a deeper, soul-level connection. And when your relationship weathers a major life change, it creates a loyalty that can last a lifetime.
If you want to maintain a close relationship with your single friends, you must realize that there are some things they need you to do.1