Male Bashing
One icy winter morning I drove to work burning with irritation toward my husband. As I hung up my coat, I fervently enumerated the details of his latest blunder to a captivated audience of my female coworkers. Someone quipped, "Testosterone!" as cheers of affirmation flooded the room. I strode to my office vindicated and understood.
That afternoon, laughter spilled from the lunchroom as my friends mischievously brainstormed self-improvement classes for men such as "Laundry 101—Sorting Silks and Socks," "Hunting 302—The Art of Finding Things," and "Navigation Techniques—A Short Course in Asking Directions." As I joined them, a cartoon of a woman on her knees praying, "Thank you, Lord, for my two X chromosomes," also made the rounds. I laughed so hard I cried.
Gender differences are fertile ground for humor, and few of us would deny that a healthy dose of humor can ease exasperation. When your husband stands in the light of a gaping refrigerator yelling because he can't find the mustard that's in front of his nose, it helps to be able to laugh. But our jokes deviate from tasteful wit into male bashing when they capitalize on failures and exploit weaknesses, pitting the genders against each other.
Although husbands are primary targets, all men are vulnerable. Fathers, supervisors, pastors, brothers, uncles, and the driver beside you on the highway, are all fair game. And the setting is wherever women gather: the workplace, the salon, the little league bench, and yes, dare I admit it, even the church.
Several years ago, at a Christian women's retreat I attended, a discussion about the differences between men and women deteriorated into scathing stories about the inadequacies of men. Over bowls of popcorn and mugs of chocolate, we recklessly devalued most men we knew until a visitor commented, "Wow! I was afraid you'd all be into that submission thing! Am I glad to know you're open-minded. You know, I often wonder if God is a woman. It makes sense if you really think about it. Men are such imbeciles."
My heart stung with conviction. Although I knew men didn't appreciate being the targets of critical humor, I assumed male bashing between women was harmless. But the Lord began to show me how it hurts both myself and others. Here's how.
Male bashing distorts our view of men. I didn't realize how much I'd bought into negative stereotypes about men until one day, early in my marriage, when my husband, George, returned home in the midst of my annual holiday cookie baking. I thought to myself, Watch, just like a man, he won't help a bit, but he'll be happy to eat the goods. Much to my surprise, he eagerly joined in, recalling fond memories of making sandtarts with his grandmother. Since then, he's become our family's chief Christmas cookie baker.
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Orrin Beggs
If I tell a lie often enough, I will eventually believe it is not a lie. The man is a jerk is the consistent theme on most commercials, but only if he is white and not politically correct. Christ is the head of the church and the husband is the head of the family. What better way to try and destroy God's plan for each one of us than to use the power of the tongue , "the power of life or death" to speak death into the hearts of people. Once a wife belittles her husband to "friends" it becomes easy to eventually say them to him. When there are enough wounds, either she gives up or he quits and the children absorb the hurt an the blows. Both genders so easily will " let corrupt communication proceed out their mouths" and seldom use it to " edify". Pride is still at the top of God' list of things he hates. In the sight of others, when we make ourselves look good at the expense of others, that is pride.
cheryl
Wow Ben, I'm sorry you feel that way. Spouses and children have taught me so much about unconditional love and forgiveness, and shown me how much patience God has to have with me. We aren't promised a life without struggles, so of course all marriages have their ups and downs. I'm sure God has allowed you to celebrate your singleness, but to say it was a good move on your part is taking a bit too much credit. There may have been a woman out there just waiting for a man like you. Perhaps she had to settle for someone else, or perhaps she is still single. To the writer, it was a great article but I'd still like to know how to graciously respond when I encounter a situation where the conversation too easily turns to male-bashing. Of course I can politely excuse myself; or I can comment but I haven't found a way to sound sincere without sounding self-righteous. Any suggestions?
Kelly
We recently had this discussion in our women's ministry leaders meeting. There was a female Christian comedienne whose video we planned to show. After previewing it I couldn't support showing it as the opening contained some male bashing. There was actually some disagreement as to whether it was bashing or just good fun. I don't think it's fun when someone tries to tell me the only thing my husband is good for is buying jewelry when my life wouldn't be nearly as good as it is without him! Does he make mistakes? Every day, but so do I. I propose we continue to praise our man for the good he does rather than belittle for the mistakes made.