Parenting Without Fear

Get rid of your anxieties and learn to trust God
Parenting Without Fear
Image: SHUTTERSTOCK

Jonathan, don't run so fast!" Andrea called as we sat on the park bench watching our 3-year-olds play. It was tough to get a word in edgewise between all of her warnings to her son. When she realized that I had uttered far fewer "watch outs!" to my daughter, Andrea turned to me and said, "I guess you think I'm pretty paranoid. It's just so easy for them to get hurt, and Jonathan never looks where he's going."

Andrea's not alone in her "paranoia." Some degree of fear is natural in parents. We love our kids so much that the thought of anything bad happening to them sends us into a panic. Yet if we're not careful, this caution can become oppressive. When we let fear dominate our parenting, we can actually shield our kids from the very things they need to be dealing with.

It's important to let go of parenting fears if we want our kids to be confident and responsible. By acting as "watchdog" we run the risk of raising kids who are unable to look after themselves. Fear has a way of silencing the God-given instincts we all have for discerning what's right and wrong, safe and unsafe.

While being conscious of safety issues is important, we have to know when to draw the line and let our kids experience life, even the painful parts. That might mean letting your toddler climb on the jungle gym in the park, even when you're afraid she might stumble. Or you might need to let your 10-year-old ride his bike to a friend's house a few blocks away rather than drive him there. Ultimately, only God can completely care for our children. He trusts us to protect them and love them, but as Jeremiah 29:11 says, "'I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.'" This is our hope as Christian parents: God is in control and we can trust him. He really does have only the best planned for our children.

The world is a scary place. A mere glance through the newspaper reminds us just how many dangers our children face. When you find yourself struggling to let go of your fears, take these steps to help you place your children in God's hands with faith and confidence.

Surrender Your Children to God

It's easy to think that we have control over our children's futures. The fact is, most of the time, our kids' lives turn out completely different than we plan.

Evelyn Christenson, author of What Happens When We Pray for Our Families (Victor), encourages parents to pray "releasing prayers" for their kids. By releasing your children to God in your prayers, you're acknowledging his sufficiency?a scary prospect. What if we surrender our kids only to have God respond by doing something awful? I had to pray a releasing prayer when I held my one-month-old son Christopher the morning of his open-heart surgery. I gave my son to God, and Christopher died five days later. But I know now that my prayer didn't cause Christopher's death. Instead, it prepared me for the loss because I'd already acknowledged that he belonged to God. Instead of anger, there was peace.

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May 25

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