Randy Frazee was fried. His demanding work schedule had taken such a toll on his marriage, family, and health that he suffered insomnia for 45 days straight. Finally, he went to a physician who informed him that the insanity of his fast-paced life had caught up with him. He had three choices: move to Borneo; take medication, which would only temporarily relieve the symptoms; or radically change his lifestyle.
Randy opted for the last choice. Eight years later, his marriage and health have never been stronger. "I sleep like a baby now. And so does my wife!" he says.
In this MP interview, Randy, author of Making Room for Life (Zondervan), explains the secret to slowing down, enjoying life and love, and finding joy again.
You made a radical change to your lifestyle. What was it?
Randy: After my doctor's appointment, I began to study Genesis to see if God had anything to say about my situation. In Genesis 1, I noticed these statements: "And there was evening, and there was morning the first day," and "And there was evening and morning the second day." It does that for the entire creation account.
I realized that the Hebrews followed that account: at 6 P.M. they began their day ("And there was evening and morning"). Whatever was first was most important. So for them, the most important part of the day, the relational "season," began at sunset. No rushing, no work. Just a focus on their relationships with God and with others.
I discussed the lifestyle change with my wife, Rozanne, and then we told the kids. We set 6 P.M. as the definitive time to be done working for the day. That created a boundary that said we're going to have time for relationships. If something doesn't get finished, it can wait until the next day.
That shift must have been difficult to make.
It was! During the first few months
I tapped my fingers on the dinner table and thought, What am I supposed to do with all this time?
What did you do?
We made the evening meal the first item on our agenda. We have dinner together as a family every night. In our family the meal is a festival. It's not considered a "to do" list for my wife. If there's one thing you want to do for your marriage, don't miss the evening meal. There's something about sharing a meal and conversation that's incredibly powerful.
Then Rozanne and I go for a walk, sit on the back porch and take in nature, or our family plays a board game or reads a good book together. The possibilities are endless.