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My Six-Week Headache

My Six-Week Headache

I'm glad I made sex a priority despite my pain
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"Basically, it looks like the medication has confused your hormones enough that you probably won't get over this headache for another month or two."

"So there's no way to stop these migraines until then?" I felt the back of my eyes start to burn with tears.

"I'm sorry, but no. You can try some over-the-counter meds but, other than that, you're just going to have to ride it out."

I ended the call with my doctor's office and didn't even try to stop crying. I can't believe this. I don't know how I can live with this pain for even another day, let alone another month…or two.

My neck and shoulders were flamingly sore to the touch; the throbbing in the back of my brain was a train on the tracks—constant, pounding, heavy. I had already experienced this headache for two weeks without reprieve. The prescription medication the doctor had offered refused to even touch the pain; I had left work multiple times because I couldn't focus on my computer screen. My hope that the doctor might have some new way to help just disappeared. Apparently she was out of options, too.

On top of the pain, I was exhausted. The migraine was so severe that it was difficult to fall asleep; sometimes the throbbing woke me up in the middle of the night. So even my only escape from the pain—sleep—was precarious at best.

After hearing that there was no clear end to this ordeal, I suddenly felt very afraid.

Michael held my hand, one of the only places on my body that the pain did not radiate toward.

"Honey, I'm so, so sorry." His voice was soft. "I wish I could take the pain for you."

I gave him a half-hearted smile through my tears. "I wouldn't want you to have this either. I'm just scared it's never going to end."

He squeezed my hand. "It will; I know it will. God is going to get us through this. I have faith that he's going to heal you. We just don't know how soon that's going to be. Hopefully soon.

I gently lowered my head onto the couch pillow, unable to stay upright any longer. "Hopefully."

Choosing Intimacy in the Midst of Pain

For the first two weeks of what turned out to be a month-and-a-half-long migraine, Michael and I had put our sexual intimacy on the back burner; even getting out of bed caused pain to ripple through my body and neither of us could imagine trying to make love when I was in that state. We assumed the raging pain I experienced was going to dissipate soon and we would be able to reengage fully in our sexual relationship. But after two weeks and a diagnosis that pointed to more of the same, we needed to find a way to connect sexually even in the midst of the migraine.

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Related Topics:Marriage; Pain; Sex; Strength

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November 16, 2012  8:25pm

Thank you for sharing.

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November 16, 2012  10:31am

I don't understand the comments about the husband being so selfish. She clearly states that sex is something that they both love and find a wonderful, deep way to connect, and also that her husband was very kind and understanding through it all. So making love through this time of pain for the wife was something that they both wanted, and it helped the migraines too! I find this very inspiring for me that no matter how busy or hard things can get, there is always a way to make the time for intimacy and connection. Thank God for how He always makes a way for us to be connected to our spouses even when things get hectic! And thank you Ann for writing this inspiring article!

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November 11, 2012  2:35pm

This is a shocking article. Myself and my fiance are going through challenging times, and it is helpful to read this. While he is my first sexual partner, I am not his second, third, fourth or even tenth. He has been very honest about his past, the fact that he likes sex a lot. Me o the other hand can do without it, and don't see what the big deal is. I do try to accomodate his desire for sex, and not withold myself from him whenever I can, but the few times when I can't, it frustrates me that he seems unable to do the same, and accomodate me likewise. It puzzles me a lot how a woman like myself can willingly put herself through this because sex is revered so much. I don't get it. God made sex for man, not man for sex. I think a society that celebrates promiscuity in men is to blame for the fact that men these days find it too great a task to suspend their lust for a while and just love.

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