Christian Survivor's Guilt

I got stuck endlessly pouring my life out as a "drink offering."

Talk to anyone about "survivor's guilt" and they'll define it essentially the same way: when a person perceives to have done wrong through surviving some trauma or traumatic event. It's often found among those who live through combat when their buddies do not, or in those who survived a natural disaster when others lost their lives. It can even be true in layoff situations when one person "survives" being fired while the rest of his or her department was let go.

It was first diagnosed in the 1960s in a study of Holocaust survivors.

I have survivor's guilt. The trouble is I have never been in a war, natural disaster, or concentration camp. In fact, I've had a comparatively wonderful life. I came from a loving and affirming family. In my teens, when I was just getting to the point that I could have made some awful decisions, I became a Christian and wholeheartedly pursued a relationship with Christ. I married a godly man who is now a pastor. I have three grown children who are all following Christ.

And that's exactly why I have survivor's guilt.

It took me years to figure this out. It started in college when I heard about persecuted Christians in other countries. I empathized with those Christians and began to feel that they were standing for Christ in a way I was not. As I wasn't being persecuted, I just felt guilty all the time. As time went on, my guilt extended to just about everyone around me. In prayer meetings, I felt guilty because others were praying for their cancer, wayward kids, and broken marriages, when I had none of those problems.

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JoHannah Reardon
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Balance; Blessings; Burdens; Expectations; Guilt; Ministry; Obedience; Praise; Prayer; Service
Today's Christian Woman, November/December , 2012
Posted November 19, 2012

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