Going at it alone is, without a doubt, one of the most common and effective strategies that Satan uses to discourage moms. A woman alone in her home with her ideals eventually wears down and becomes a perfect target for Satan to discourage. Some women have journeyed alone for so long they are not even aware of their urgent need for mentors, friends, peers, and fellowship.
My own story involves many such moments. Early in my walk as a mother, I often felt quite despondent and in need of the gift of friendship. Moving seventeen times, six times internationally, created for me a legacy of many years of loneliness, feelings of being invisible, and a lack of support systems or encouragement from other young moms. We are living in an isolationist culture today and have become accustomed to lonely living that God never intended us to experience. I often felt the keen sting of modern culture's unfamiliar and hostile isolation.
God made us for community and accountability and close friendship. He also created family, so that no one would ever have to be alone or bear the burden of life by themselves. Families were designed by God to include moms and dads, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles, and a whole host of people who would walk alongside you, committed to you through the passages of life. Young moms were never meant to be without the advice and care of multiple women assisting them and advising them in their lives.
Yet we have become so used to living without support that we often lose perspective on how much we need intimate friendships with other women. This deep need sometimes puts pressure on husbands to fulfill needs that they were never designed to fill. No matter how wonderful a man may be, he is not crafted by God to meet all of a woman's needs. Through the centuries, women in the home usually had a mom, aunt, sister, or grandmother living close by. They would walk out their back door and talk to each other as they hung clothing on the clothes line or shared a cup of tea while their children played together outdoors. Families living in community generally had the same values and faith and could pass on a legacy of confidence and security to the children and young moms.
Once I was visiting a new town where we were thinking of moving. A friend of mine had asked one of her friends if I could stay with her while I was looking for a home for our family. I had three of my young children with me, having left Clay and my oldest back home. On the first morning of our arrival, I awoke before my children, which was rare, and slipped down the stairs to the kitchen to have a cup of tea. As I walked into the kitchen, there was a tray with a candle lit, a pot of tea, two pumpkin muffins, a tiny little vase with a pink rosebud in it, and a card that said, "Sally, I have prayed for you today, that you would know God's love, His provision, and His blessing as you move to a new home. We are looking so forward to having you as our friend in Colorado." Below this note were written the words, "May the peace of the Lord be with you, for He is near."
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For Further StudyDownloadable resources to go deeper
- Balancing Work and Home Christian Parenting Today CourseThese studies will help women and mothers who feel overworked and want to find a happy medium.