Intimacy Is More Important than You Think

Why it’s the secret to feeling better
Intimacy Is More Important than You Think
Image: JACOB LUND / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

Wouldn’t it be great if you could feel better with just one little secret? It sounds too good to be true, like those crazy weight loss pills, but I think I’ve found something powerful.

The past six months my husband, Caleb, and I have walked through some very real pain and loss. Coincidentally, while our inside lives have been torn apart and iced with depression, our outside lives have actually been picture perfect.

In the same six months of funerals, changes, and trials, my husband and I have hit some major milestones as young adults. I started an incredible job, my husband received a big promotion and raise, we got a beautiful new car, I received my master’s level social work license, we took two vacations, and we got rid of our college futon and replaced it with real furniture (finally). On top of that, we spent countless hours socializing with people we love, went on dates to exciting places, and even hosted a party with 75 of our closest friends. Looking at this list of achievements, activities, and purchases, life looks pretty great!

It wasn’t the new job that made me love my husband more; it was the honesty and vulnerability that he shared with me.

On our way back from our last trip to Texas last month, we sat down at the gate at the airport ready to fly back to Ohio. With my shopping bags on my left and my suitcase of my right, I looked up to see tears streaming down my husband’s face. “It’s just so hard,” he whispered to me. “I can’t do this anymore.” I felt like screaming in frustration. I had planned this trip to help him get away! I insisted we buy all this nice furniture to cross something off Caleb’s wish list! After all of this “great” stuff on the outside, why did we still feel so awful?

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May 25

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