One of the great misconceptions is that the physical side of marriage should come naturally.
When my wife, Nancy, and I got married, we were convinced our honeymoon would be 24-hour, nonstop passion. I told her, "Leave the honeymoon to me." I know how to make a woman happy, I thought. I knew just the place to take her; the right spot to put her in the mood. Wisconsin.
I grew up in northern Illinois, and if you wanted a romantic setting, you went to Wisconsin. I knew how to make a woman happy.
Nancy had several ideas of where paradise for a honeymoon might be. Much to my surprise, Wisconsin was not one of them. But she trusted me.
After the ceremony, we got on a shuttle bus to the Los Angeles airport. We flew four hours on a packed flight to Chicago next to a lady with a sick baby on her lap. Not a romantic setting, but I wasn't worried. I had Wisconsin. I knew how to make a woman happy.
We arrived at Chicago's O'Hare airport. Our luggage was an hour late. Finally, we got a rental car. I'd forgotten how big Wisconsin was. We were going to Door Countyfive hours by car.
So after an hour on a shuttle bus, four in a plane, three at various airports, and five in the car, we arrived at our honeymoon hideaway, the Bates Motel. It was 2 a.m. No one was at the desk. No lights were on. We had to find the key to our room ourselves.
Anybody with brains would have gotten some rest at that point. But I knew how to make a woman happy.
I said to Nancy, "Take a hot shower. Relax." I tried to make the room romantic. I brought out candles. I knew women like candles, so I got the biggest one I could find. It burned like a Duraflame log.1