Henry was usually jovial and positive. Last night, however, he came late to our church meeting and didn't have much to say.
"I'll never understand women," he told me after the meeting. "My wife thinks we need more intimacy. She says we aren't as close as we used to be. I don't know what she's talking about. I thought we had a good marriage."
There's something about our psychological, spiritual, and physical makeup that cries out for intimacy with another. That's because God designed marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships, in which we share life intellectually, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Are you and your spouse intimate in these ways?
Intellectual intimacy. This isn't about discussing highly intellectual ideas. The important thing is discussing your thoughts. They may be thoughts about food, finances, health, crime, work, politics. They reveal something of what's gone on in your mind throughout the day.
Social intimacy. This has to do with spending time around the events of life. Some of these events we experience together; others happen while we're apart and are shared through open communication. Much of life involves doing. When we do things together, we not only develop a sense of teamwork, we also enhance our sense of intimacy.
Emotional intimacy. Feelings are our spontaneous, emotional responses to what we encounter through the five senses. I see the fire truck racing down the road and I feel troubled. You touch my hand and I feel loved. When we share emotions, we build emotional intimacy.1