Allen Asbury, who recently released his debut CD, Somebody's Praying Me Through (Doxology Records), and his wife, Heidi, celebrate their 10th anniversary this summer. They've learned a lot in that decade, such as how to love (Allen's a hopeless romantic), how to fight (Heidi's feisty!), and how to put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
How do you handle conflicts?
Allen: It's a direct result of watching my dad. He honors my mother. I've never seen him yell at her. I know they had their arguments, but us kids never saw that. So when Heidi and I argue, I want to put it off. When we were first married, Heidi got frustrated with me because I just wouldn't get into it with her. I'd say, "No, now is not the time."
Heidi: About three months into our marriage, Allen probably wondered why he married me. Our truck broke down in the middle of nowhere, and I got so mad! Then a wasp came in the truck, and I flipped out. I started yelling and kicking the dashboard. Allen said, "Heidi, what are you doing?" He couldn't believe his brand-new wife was kicking the dashboard of the car.
Better than kicking him!
Heidi: Exactly! But really, we don't argue much.
Allen: But when the time comes—and it always does—we sit down and talk about it. It's pleasant and productive, and we see each other's point of view. If we need to relieve frustrations, we play a game of racquetball or run around the track or something. We don't take it out on each other.1