Out of Control

Don't let tough times rob you of joy

What makes happy couples happy? Allen Parducci, a prominent UCLA researcher, asked that question and found that money, success, health, beauty, intelligence or power have little to do with a couple's "subjective well-being." Instead, research reveals that the level of a couple's joy is determined by each partner's ability to adjust to things beyond his or her control. Happy couples learn to find the right attitude in spite of the conditions they're in.

Can you imagine how the Christmas story might have been written if Mary and Joseph had not had the capacity to adjust to things beyond their control? Joseph's fiancee was pregnant. He could have had her stoned or banished to some distant city. Before he could break with her, however, God sent an angel to tell him that Mary was with child by the Holy Spirit. So instead of sending her away, Joseph married her.

It's difficult to imagine any couple entering marriage with more challenges than Mary and Joseph faced. On top of waiting for the birth of a child, they were trying to establish their home, run a business and learn how to live with each other. Further, they were forced to close down their business and travel to Bethlehem as the first step of a Roman plan to raise taxes. Just what they needed!

Mary made the trip on the back of a burro. (Some women can hardly ride in a Buick when they are several months pregnant, let alone on the back of a donkey!) With Bethlehem visible in the distance, we can imagine Mary looking up at her husband and saying something like, "I'm going to sit down under this olive tree while you go into town to get us a room. I'd like one in the front so I can watch the crowds go up and down the street until the baby comes."

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May 25

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