Ah, young love. Do you remember first falling for your spouse? Those late nights talking on the phone? Surprising her with a dozen roses you picked up from the local flower stand? Skipping sleep to write him that epic love poem? Can you recall those countless hours when thoughts and images of your sweetheart seemed constantly to invade your mind? How your hands got sweaty when you thought of him? Your heart pounding moments before you went in for that goodnight kiss?
Love is so emotional, straight from the heart, right? Wrong. Although it's strong, it's powerful, it connects our souls, and can take over our thoughts during the day and our dreams at night, there's a science behind love. It's chemical and comes straight from the brain.
The more we understand the science of love, the better we'll understand ourselves, and the better our chances at keeping romance alive, our love fresh, and our marriage strong.
Remember when? (new love)
When we think of love, see it portrayed on tv and film, or read about it in a novel, it's usually exciting and passionate. The lovers can't get enough of each other. They can't sleep. Their hearts race. Their palms get sweaty. And there's always incredible sex.
So we think, I wouldn't mind having some of that! Why isn't my relationship that exciting?
The easy answer: because that's "new love." That's fresh love. That's the love we used to have.
Phenylethyla … huh?
Phenylethylamine (PEA) is one of the culprits for the excitement of "new love." PEA is a brain chemical that acts like an amphetamine (yes, the drug) during the early stages in a relationship. Your body reacts to it like it would an upper, but without the harmful side effects and embarrassment of failing a urine test.1