It's funny—a wife will put great effort and planning into meal preparation, but we think sex should be spontaneous. It's as if you were to go into the kitchen blindfolded and start taking things off the shelf and say, "Okay, we're going to have a spontaneous meal." It doesn't work that way. You have to plan for it, set an attitude for it.
The same is true of sex, but we don't do it. We think that, without energy or planning, we can get into bed when we're the most tired and have wonderfully fulfilled sex. If we want wonderful sex, we have to plan for it—and then communicate to our spouse what we think is wonderful.
—Mary Ann Mayo
We need to be careful we aren't always putting something else ahead of sex: Nightline, paying the bills, getting our child her third drink of water. It's too easy to think, Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Sometimes we need to heed the feelings-follow-actions dictum and decide to have sex.
—Elizabeth Cody Newenhuyse
Men and aging
As a man ages he will require direct penile stiumation to get an erection, rather than responding to visual stimuli or thought stimulus. This may actually enhance lovemaking for the couple, because the man and the woman will become more similar in their arousal responses.
—Cliff and Joyce Penner
Expressing positive messages during sex enhances the experience for both spouses. In contrast, criticism and sexual arousal just don't mix. When we're aroused, we are open and vulnerable. So avoid making negative comment about your husband's approach while the two of you are making love.1