So how do we apply this passage to us? The question then becomes, "Am I an ezer or do I have to get married before I can become an ezer?"
And the answer?
No, you don't have to be married. He created all women as ezers. So little girls are ezers. And elderly women in nursing homes are ezers. It's God's calling for us. It starts when we're born. It's not something you can lose, and it's not something that you have to wait for to begin. It's your whole life.
It sounds like this was a process of discovery for you.
It was. I didn't get married for 10 years after college. I was raised to believe you get married and have babies, but that didn't happen. And I wasn't given any alternatives. Nobody came to me and said, "What does God want you to do with your life?"
Too often in the church we feel sorry for women who have careers and aren't doing the domestic family thing. I don't diminish that at all, but when we crown that as God's primary and ultimate calling for women, we create a dilemma for women who don't marry or who don't have children. We don't allow for the realities or diversities of women's lives.
Then inevitably, we block out major portions of our lives when we're not married and don't have kids. It's as if we're waiting for God's purpose rather than looking for his purpose right now1