'Yife's Not Fair!'

Transform difficult lessons into powerful, positive change.

My son, Jordan, loves to yell, "It's not fair!" in response to every minor infraction. If his remote control car stalls, "It's not fair!" If I tell him he can't eat a bowl of marshmallows for breakfast, "It's not fair!" Even when his favorite 30-minute cartoon ends right on time, "It's not fair!"

Not long ago, I felt bombarded by unfair circumstances. I strained to recall a fair and peaceful time in my life. The family I'd dreamt of and strived for was swallowed by tragedy.

I lost a baby through miscarriage and only 11 months later my precious daughter, Angelica, was stillborn. I was traumatized by Angelica's birth-death. I lived in a constant state of torment, a concoction of grief and postpartum depression. I was haunted by her delicate and beautiful features.

My world continued to crumble when after seven years I lost the battle to hold together my fragile marriage. When I held the framed wedding photo that had hung on our living room wall for all those years, I stared into the face of a woman I didn't know, the face of youthful naiveté. I had been a 22-year-old bride, confident that I could handle all of life's challenges. I married at a time when I was rebellious and unphased by the fact that my husband didn't share my faith. It was a turbulent union from the onset; my husband was unfaithful, abusive, and struggled with addiction. I reached out to God but kept him at a distance to avoid his truth penetrating my denial. I was desperate to remain a family, but in the rawness of my grief there was no more room for pretending—my home wasn't a safe place. My marriage collapsed and I watched the life I'd built with thoughtful precision topple like a thousand dominoes.

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May 25

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