I want to grow closer to my husband spiritually, but whenever I suggest praying or reading the Bible together, he doesn't seem interested. What can I do?
A: It's important to first define what you want from your husband. Do you want him to go through the motions of reading and praying with you, or do you truly want deep spiritual growth as a couple? Most pastors agree that reading the Bible and praying together will bring you closer to God and to each other. Yet, I've counseled with couples where doing devotions together intensified their differences and became a chore rather than a blessing. It's the motive that's important, not just the idea of doing couples devotions because you've always been told it's the "right" thing to do.
Growing together spiritually is similar to dating. You want to know where your husband is in his faith, and he needs to know where you are as well. This supportive process should turn both your eyes to Jesus. While Bible reading, prayer, and devotions should be part of your life, it may not be your first step to growth. Rather than setting aside a time for "Bible study," make it a priority to get to know your husband's faith. One of the best ways to do this is to talk about issues in the news, or one you face as a Christian in the world. For instance, you might describe a sticky issue you've been dealing with at work. You want to do the Christian thing and want to get his perspective on the issue first.1