Why I No Longer Fear the Other Woman

Marriage betrayal can be the best thing that ever happens to your spiritual life

As the wife of Bobby Jackson, a 12-year veteran guard in the NBA and current NBA assistant coach with the Minnesota Timberwolves, life started out like a fantasy. Just like every girl, I fantasized about my dream wedding, with my dream guy, living a dreamy life. It didn't matter to me that I met my husband in a bar; he was my prince charming. A Southern gentleman meets California girl, God had finally sent the prince among all the toads.

Being a wife in a professional sport, everyone assumes you have automatically traded in a life of decency, integrity, honor, and faithfulness in exchange for a life of luxury, fortune, affluence, and material gain. In fact, my friends and family made these assumptions about the life I chose. And I did buy into the lie that I shouldn't expect to have a God-honoring marriage because men in this culture just can't be faithful to their wives. So I lived in great fear and terror of other women. I always lived in the thought that my husband would leave me for someone more vivacious, prettier, and sexier. Yes, even as a young woman I thought this way. I operated in that mindset for so long that I always felt afraid or suspicious. Even church became a place of terror, deep insecurity, and shallow thinking. Your fears will follow you wherever you go, when fear is left unchecked.

The confrontation

My greatest fear was that another woman would get an edge over me and somehow take my life away from me. I always felt as though the women who sought athletes or married men with money had a power I couldn't control or pray away. I thought they had the advantage until I read something so powerful that came out of the mouth of Jesus. Before he was about to be crucified, Jesus said, "You would have no power over me at all unless it were given to you from above" (John 19:11).

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