Apples to Diamonds

When comparisons spoil your marriage

"If I'm honest, I always compare the worst parts of myself to the best parts of others," my friend, Wendy, said during Bible study years ago. She spoke this profound statement with such humility that I almost didn't glean the pure wisdom it offered. With time its words penetrated the deepest parts of my soul. Wendy shared about comparing the not-so-pleasant aspects of her inner life to the pristine perception she had of other people. Of course, those compared won the competition they didn't even know they were part of. I remember Wendy's words because she brought a voice to the game I played without even being aware of it.

Dealing hands

The game goes further than that, though. The deck is shuffled and the cards are dealt when we get together with our girlfriends. As the conversation turns to things our husbands do, we begin looking at our hand, trying to decide if what they're saying trumps what, or who, we have.

"I can't believe Roger put my dry-clean-only blouse in the wash," Judy complains, while everyone else thinks, Roger helps with the laundry? I sure wish my husband did, even if he ruined a few shirts here and there. Without a spoken word, a winner—and therefore a loser—is declared.

The problem with this game is that when the other women get home, they often become agitated with their husbands.

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