Who Says Women Don't Want Sex?

What to do when you want it more often than your husband
Who Says Women Don't Want Sex?

It’s the story line that you see repeated throughout almost every book, movie, and story—all men want sex all the time. From a '70s sitcom to a hot-off-the-press movie, men are seen chasing after their ladies, and the women are usually running away. This belief seems to sneak its way into every part of the media: “Men desire sex. Women put up with it.”

In Christian culture, this stereotype may be even more pervasive. There are books and articles talking to wives and encouraging them to love their husbands through sex, and women who are writing in saying, “I have no desire but my husband wants it every day! What do I do?”

It is okay to be the wife and also have the stronger sex drive in your marriage.

So what do you do when you’re a woman but you’re the one desiring sex? What happens when your husband isn’t as interested as you? I see this question come through Authentic Intimacy’s email box on more than a weekly basis, and it always seems covered in shame and confusion. Women say things like “What is wrong with me? Why do I desire sex more than my husband?” and “How can I fix this? I know as a woman I’m not supposed to have such a strong sex drive, but I do.”

If I’m being completely honest, this is something I have wrestled with personally. In a culture that screams, “Men are the only ones wanting sex!” often women are left wondering if their desires are valid, and what to do with them. While each couple is certainly unique, here are some general tips for handling a difference in sex drive between you and your husband:

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