Want to marry the right guy? Feeling like you're behind schedule?
Many of us tend to be women of action—at work, at home, and even in our relationships. And as such, we like plans, goals, and tasks to complete. That's why trusting God's timing when it comes to love can be really hard. God doesn't operate according to our checklists (no, not even the color-coded ones). And when we focus too much on making our lives fit some master plan of our own design, we're really putting trust in ourselves instead of God.
When I was in my twenties, I didn't understand this at all. There were certain expectations for my life that I'd created. Those expectations included marriage "on time" to "the one." So when, at what I deemed to be the right age, I met a guy who seemed to fit my criteria, I married him. I didn't marry him right away (in fact, we had a few years of dating and engagement), but as soon as I realized I had chemistry with this guy who checked all the right boxes, I decided that he was the one.
Once I had made this decision, my mind was pretty much made up. I was so focused on meeting those expectations of mine that I ignored warning signs. I failed to ask critical questions (of myself and him). Eleven years and two kids later, it came crumbling down. Our marriage ended.
Even after all this time, I hate saying that. Even though I've been happily remarried to someone else for twelve years, and confident that God used my mistakes for so much good, I still hate it.1