Do your coworkers curse at you?
How about your boss?
Suffering profanity has become a regular part of the business day for one young woman who recently wrote to me. Let's call her Claire. For 11 years, Claire has been working at a small company (less than 10 employees in her office). Her boss and coworkers share crude jokes, openly swear, and even warned a recent new hire that she'd better "get used to the colorful language." Even just last week in the middle of a company meeting, Claire's boss told a young, attractive woman to send a picture of herself to her (male) client to make the client more responsive.
Claire has made it clear that she is uncomfortable with crudeness and has asked people to stop swearing so much, but it hasn't made a difference. The situation has become so unbearable for her that she has made plans to leave her job.
Hearing Claire's situation saddened me, but it didn't shock me. The stark reality is that a workplace environment can be uncomfortable—even unbearable—at times. Most large companies will have human resources departments and corporate policies meant to prevent hostile work environments, but those measures are no guarantee that you won't find yourself in an uncomfortable situation.
So what do you do?
First, and most importantly, check your expectations. Your job is not your church, nor is it your home, and your coworkers are never going to conform perfectly to your convictions. That doesn't mean you should suffer disrespect or humiliation, but it does means that some amount of discomfort is to be expected. Understand that most of the time, other people at work are just being themselves—they aren't trying to bother or hurt you. You don't need to waste your time and energy on bitterness or anger toward others who fail to live up to your standards of conduct.1