Sex, Shame, and the Good Christian Girl

Overcoming the lie that sex is just plain wrong
Sex, Shame, and the Good Christian Girl

As my friend's wedding day approached, a group of us got together to celebrate with a pink and girly bachelorette party. I put on my high heels, slapped on some red lipstick, and ran out the door, looking forward to a night of laughs and pre-wedding nerves. We started with a beautiful dinner, ran all around the mall in a scavenger hunt for wedding night necessities, and ended up back at the maid of honor's house for some presents and games. All of the women were giving our friend wedding-night advice when one of the bridesmaids said, "I feel wrong doing this. I don't think we should be talking about sex." The atmosphere of the evening abruptly changed as this group was reminded that "good Christian girls don't talk about sex." It felt like something out of a movie, where the air was popped out of our balloons and the music came to a screeching halt.

The atmosphere of the evening abruptly changed as this group was reminded that "good Christian girls don't talk about sex."

I watched the hostess of the party sit down, feeling slapped across the face. The bride started to fidget in her seat, obviously uncomfortable with the guilt that had just been poured into the room. Quickly, my mind began to race with questions. Questions like, Why is it that we can gush for hours about the colors of the wedding, the songs to dance to, and the bride's dress, but are afraid to give sexual encouragement to our friend? Didn't she pursue purity so her marital intimacy would be that much greater? Isn't this the time we are supposed to talk about sex?

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May 25

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