Journey through Passion Pursuit

Pursuing Passion in Your Marriage

Why God doesn’t feel squeamish about sex—and why you don’t have to either

I’ve always been a bit uncomfortable about the topic of sex. (I can remember shopping with my older sister who had just gotten married when I was in my late teens. I couldn’t believe that teddies had snaps down there!)

As my own marriage approached I knew, of course, that sex would be a part of it. I looked forward to it with some fear and trepidation. After years of hearing I should say no, I wasn’t sure I’d be that great at saying yes. Turns out, I wasn’t. Sex was difficult. It resulted in more pain than pleasure and more conflict than oneness.

What God has asked me to do is to be willing to pursue passion in my marriage.

I am many things as a wife—committed, faithful, a good friend. One thing I could never see myself as? Sexy. So, how in the world did I find myself co-authoring a Bible study called Passion Pursuit? God often works through our weaknesses more powerfully than when we teach from personal strengths. I’m on a journey, like many wives.

I’m not sure what your “hang ups” about sex are, and I won’t share mine. However, I’ve become convinced that a thriving sex life is a key component to a strong marriage. Does this mean that you have to swing from chandeliers or send your paycheck directly to Victoria Secret? Thankfully, no.

What God has asked me to do is to be willing to pursue passion in my marriage. I’m a determined, goal-oriented person. While I had channeled that determination into being a wife, for many years it didn’t make it into the bedroom.

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Juli Slattery

Juli Slattery is a TCW regular contributor and blogger. A widely known clinical psychologist, author, speaker, and broadcast media professional, she co-founded Authentic Intimacy and is the co-author of Passion Pursuit: What Kind of Love Are You Making?

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