The Problem with People-Pleasing and Peacekeeping

Christian women, let’s make our voice heard.
The Problem with People-Pleasing and Peacekeeping
Image: ANIWHITE / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM

When the topics of compensation and gender enter the same conversation, things can get a bit heated. This was the case as the world’s highest paid actress, Jennifer Lawrence, recently penned a response to the late 2014 Sony leak that disclosed she was compensated less than her male co-stars in American Hustle. Surprisingly, Lawrence didn’t get mad at Sony, but she instead got mad at herself. Why? “I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early,” she says. “I didn’t want to keep fighting over millions of dollars that, frankly, due to two franchises, I don’t need.”

Although Lawrence openly admits her experience as a working woman isn’t “exactly relatable,” there is one element of her experience that many women can relate to: We want to be liked and don’t want to come across as “difficult” or “spoiled,” as Lawrence puts it.

Linda Babcock, an economist at Carnegie Mellon and co-author of the book Women Don’t Ask, found that only 7 percent of women attempted to negotiate their initial job offers, while 57 percent of the men did so. Why? Yes, negotiating well is hard work; it takes a delicate balance to be an advocate for yourself yet still show respect to your boss and company at the same time, but I think it stems from this idea Lawrence suggests: Many of us are people-pleasers and peacekeepers at our core. It’s in our personalities; it’s how we were created, how we were raised.

Member access onlyYou have reached the end of this Article Preview
To continue reading, join now for free and get complete access.
orJoin Now for Free

Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.com/Women

Natalie Lederhouse

Natalie Lederhouse is the administrative editor for Today's Christian Woman. You can follow her on Twitter at @nataliejean.

Free CT Women Newsletter

Sign up for our free Marriage & Family newsletter: CT's weekly newsletter to help women grow their marriage and family relationships through biblical principles.

Ambition; Culture; God's Voice; Work
Today's Christian Woman, November 25, 2015
Posted November 25, 2015

Read These Next

Comments

Join in the conversation on Facebook or Twitter

May 25

Follow Us

More Newsletters

Facebook
Twitter
Pinterest
RSS