Finding a spouse who’s a good fit can feel impossible in our world of high standards, fairy-tale romances, and well-intentioned but unrealistic stories of love at first sight. In reality, it takes a great deal of wisdom, patience, and often many first dates with the wrong guys before we find the right one.
But why are some of those wrong guys just so tempting? They lure you in with their Hollywood good looks or their passionate talk about C. S. Lewis, and suddenly you realize that you’ve fallen for exactly the kind of guy your momma warned you about. Sometimes, the guy we need least is the one we’re attracted to most.
1. Mr. Opposites Attract
If you like ice cream, he’s drinking coffee. If you’re for the Cubs, he’s cheering on the White Sox. You’re drawn to him because he’s so different. But is that necessarily a good thing? We can't underestimate the power of a relationship founded on commonalities instead of differences. It can be exciting to get into those heated debates and have him introduce you to music and movies you’d never pick up, but it’s wise to marry someone who complements you as well, especially in personality traits like introversion/extroversion and communication styles. Yes, some push back and challenge is healthy. But if you have opposing views on critical issues such as faith or whether to have children, it will be difficult to find unity in your marriage and make wise decisions about your future.1