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The 36-Year-Old Virgin

The 36-Year-Old Virgin

How abstinence champion Lakita Garth kept the faith during the long years before her wedding night—and beyond.
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Despite her strong faith, Lakita did not grow up in the church—she admits that as a child she simply refused to go. "I thought church was where all the hypocrites were," she remembers, though her mother was a faithful churchgoer. Lakita finally made a commitment to Christ at age 17, and says she decided right then that she would live by Isaiah 54:5: "For thy Maker is thine husband" (NKJV). She recalls, "I asked myself, 'If God is really my Husband, then why am I flirting with some guy?' God even knows what I'm thinking!"

Lakita admits there were times when she asked herself other things too, like, Is there something wrong with me 'cause I don't have a boyfriend? Fortunately, her young mind wasn't given much room to explore that question—much of her free time was filled with sports or "cracking the books," and TV was usually off limits in the Garth home. In the long years of single adulthood, Lakita learned how to be comforted by God when she felt alone. "I had to go to Him when I was lonely," she says. "If I could be faithful to God during those times, I know I can be faithful to my husband."

Building biblical boundaries

Lakita's ministry is often to teenagers, but she finds Christian adult audiences even more challenging to address on issues of sexual purity. "Christian adults are the most clueless," she notes bluntly. "Many have never heard from the pulpit that sex before marriage is wrong," she says, citing how often singles have come up after her talks and told her so. "The Church needs to start preaching it, and then living it. We need to start equipping folks."

The 2004 Census Bureau's Current Population Survey reports that there are more people in the 30-34 age range who have never been married than there have been since 1970. That means it's likely that there are a greater number of older singles in our churches than we've seen in a long time. But are adult Sunday-school programs, or even church singles ministries, really meeting the needs of older singles? The answers vary, but many church programs seem to be heavy on events, but light on the biblically based teaching relevant to the issues single 30- and 40-somethings face.

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February 22, 2013  3:35am

I agree with the previous comment by Chris. Lakita Garth is "totally self-absorbed/self-righteous." This article does not really reflect her that way, however, I have seen her speak to audiences and she passes judgment far too quickly and concludes that people are sinners (or, in her words "anti-christ"), not for having liberal ideas, but for simply asking questions about liberal ideas. Our religion allows for the forgiveness of sin, but the way she preaches, if someone sins, then they are an evil anti-christ, and she considers that person a hypocrite because they are not supposed to sin. I've heard/seen her often criticize and point out the sins of others, in a very self-righteous way. She may not intend to do so, yet she is very self-absorbed when opining on sin and sexual issues. In debates, she often misunderstands issues and speaks over people with different opinions, as if only her opinion counts. Her cause would be more successful if someone else represented on her behalf.

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January 02, 2013  8:41pm

Great Job, May God bless your marriage and encourage others to do so.We are loosing the young generation for immorality.

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abel boayali

December 31, 2012  1:22pm

tanz lakita and congratulations,may God ur Father graciouly bless ur marriage,may this generation see that u are highly favored and call u blessed.I am grately encourage by ur testimony and am sure God is proud of u as i am,my sister.

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