When Friendships Go too Far

Guarding against emotional affairs
When Friendships Go too Far
Image: DGLIMAGES / SHUTTERSTOCK

Overnight, I went from a career-oriented woman in love with my husband to a woman who felt like a single stay-at-home mom—even though I was still married. My husband not only worked 55 hours a week, but he was also in school. Often I wouldn't see him until 10:30 at night.

This left me with all the responsibilities of running our home and parenting our children. While it may not seem like a big deal, Chris' absence seemed to drive me over the edge as I experienced a whole new definition of lonely. Then, as if the enemy enjoyed playing with me, an old friend from the B.C. days (before I came to Christ) resurfaced. This friend, whom I will call John Doe, was engaged to be married and had just returned from serving in Afghanistan. (We had lost touch after I gave my life to Christ.) The conversations started innocently enough, from catching up to reminiscing about the old days.

The Dangers of Friending the Opposite Sex

Soon I was talking to John more than my husband. We exchanged text messages, phone calls, and emails until one day he wanted more than I ever expected him to ask of me. Shattered by the reality of this emotional affair, I knew it was best to tell my husband.

Though I hadn't physically cheated, the fact that I had a deep emotional connection with this other man was more than my husband could bear. He felt John knew more about me than he did. I had clearly made the right choice to cut off all contact with John, but I still reaped the consequences of my actions. The relationship left a relentless void in my heart. I was more isolated, ashamed, and lonely than ever.

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May 25

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