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When Friendships Go too Far

When Friendships Go too Far

Guarding against emotional affairs
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  • If you work outside the home, keep your relationships professional. Do not go on lunch dates alone with the opposite sex unless it cannot be avoided.


  • My husband and I hold each other accountable with our mobile phones, emails, social networking, and all other forms of communication. We give each other full and direct access to our accounts. We know each other's passwords and other account information. This helps us build trust and keep conversations limited, since we know our spouse can check anytime.
  • When not in use, leave the computer and mobile phones in the family room or the busiest room in your home.

Sharpen Your Tools

  • Attend a marriage retreat, such as "Weekend to Remember" getaways, sponsored by Family Life.
  • Go on dates as a couple. Put your phones away and don't talk about your kids. Focus on each other. If you can't find a sitter or funds are limited, go on a mini-date; put the kids to bed early and retreat to your bedroom. The important thing is to have "face time" to continue to build your connection.

Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk

  • Safeguard and strengthen your marriage by communicating. Tell each other your thoughts, needs, and fears. Demonstrate what a healthy marriage looks like in front of your children. This step alone will help protect your marriage because you want the best for your children, and this means being your best for your marriage.
  • Pick up a good marriage book. Try Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs or The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick.

Go to God

  • In my book Mama Needs a Time-Out, I share 22 names of God and how they apply to motherhood and marriage. Remember, one of those names is Ish. When you are feeling lonely, go to God; he has promised to fill that void.
  • Pray daily for protection of your marriage. Ask God to reveal your weaknesses, then take the appropriate steps to safeguard your marriage. If you are unsure how to pray, pick up one of my favorite books, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.

Heather Riggleman is an over-caffeinated mom to three kids and is still married to her high school sweetheart. She is a founder of Her View From Home. With her new book, Mama Needs A Time-Out, she has become a favorite speaker all across Nebraska, where she lives.

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ratings & comments

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December 02, 2012  9:53pm

i did not know until i was about a third of the way through this that this was for women ( a friend sent me the link). This is really timely because an elder at our church said that Facebook should be off limits for everyone in the church! i am thankful that God has answered our prayer and let us know that we do not need to get rid of Facebook, but learn and manifest God's purpose for it. Thank you. Thank you.

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November 29, 2012  1:20pm

Great article. One suggestion I would add, in regard to using facebook, is: be very discerning in who you "friend". A good friend of mine, who has been married for 16 years, recently discovered that one of her husband's old girlfriends was trying to "rekindle" the relationship over facebook. I've had the following on my facebook profile page ever since I opened my account: "To honor my husband and maintain integrity in my commitment to our marriage, the only men that I am "friends" with are family members. Some people don't understand this, and think I'm strange...I am okay with that."

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November 29, 2012  10:53am

Go is so good!! I really needed to hear this! I am a stay at home mom and my husband works long hours as well. We have been having trouble because the affection has not been there much lately because by the time he gets home we are both so tired. He has been car pooling with a girl from work. At first it was not a big deal but on black Friday I meet her and she an unbeliver and would barly look at me. She is 19 and I believe she has a little girl crush on my husband. When I told him my concern he said I'm seeing what I want to see because I'm insecure and he is upset because I have no trust in him. He is continuing to give her rides and we just don't talk about it. IV been praying everyday that God gives me the words to say but honestly I am insecure (physicaly im still trying to lose thebaby weight) and he has given me no reason not to trust him.

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