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When Friendships Go too Far

When Friendships Go too Far

Guarding against emotional affairs
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  • If you work outside the home, keep your relationships professional. Do not go on lunch dates alone with the opposite sex unless it cannot be avoided.


  • My husband and I hold each other accountable with our mobile phones, emails, social networking, and all other forms of communication. We give each other full and direct access to our accounts. We know each other's passwords and other account information. This helps us build trust and keep conversations limited, since we know our spouse can check anytime.
  • When not in use, leave the computer and mobile phones in the family room or the busiest room in your home.

Sharpen Your Tools

  • Attend a marriage retreat, such as "Weekend to Remember" getaways, sponsored by Family Life.
  • Go on dates as a couple. Put your phones away and don't talk about your kids. Focus on each other. If you can't find a sitter or funds are limited, go on a mini-date; put the kids to bed early and retreat to your bedroom. The important thing is to have "face time" to continue to build your connection.

Walk the Walk and Talk the Talk

  • Safeguard and strengthen your marriage by communicating. Tell each other your thoughts, needs, and fears. Demonstrate what a healthy marriage looks like in front of your children. This step alone will help protect your marriage because you want the best for your children, and this means being your best for your marriage.
  • Pick up a good marriage book. Try Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs or The Love Dare by Stephen Kendrick and Alex Kendrick.

Go to God

  • In my book Mama Needs a Time-Out, I share 22 names of God and how they apply to motherhood and marriage. Remember, one of those names is Ish. When you are feeling lonely, go to God; he has promised to fill that void.
  • Pray daily for protection of your marriage. Ask God to reveal your weaknesses, then take the appropriate steps to safeguard your marriage. If you are unsure how to pray, pick up one of my favorite books, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.

Heather Riggleman is an over-caffeinated mom to three kids and is still married to her high school sweetheart. She is a founder of Her View From Home. With her new book, Mama Needs A Time-Out, she has become a favorite speaker all across Nebraska, where she lives.

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February 07, 2013  11:24am

My husband and I have chosen to share our Facebook account, so everything can be seen by both of us and people know if they write to us, we both see it. As with everything, a good thing can be used for evil, or it can be used for a great good.

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December 04, 2012  9:47am

When an old friend and former boss was caught in an affair, my eyes were opened! I realized how close I could have come to such a mistake! Everyone loved this guy, including me. I am so grateful to God that he protected me and gave me boundaries in my work relationships. Women who must work outside the home really are at such risk. Of necessity we must interact with kind and attractive men who appear powerful and protective....exactly what we want our husbands to be! We have to guard against comparing our spouse to others and remember what attracted us to them in the first place. Oh yes, and consider the collateral consequences of an affair to our family, church and friends if we end up in sin!

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December 02, 2012  9:53pm

i did not know until i was about a third of the way through this that this was for women ( a friend sent me the link). This is really timely because an elder at our church said that Facebook should be off limits for everyone in the church! i am thankful that God has answered our prayer and let us know that we do not need to get rid of Facebook, but learn and manifest God's purpose for it. Thank you. Thank you.

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