Jump directly to the content
Embracing Adoption's Realities

Embracing Adoption's Realities

Thinking about adoption? Be sure to consider these factors.
Average Rating:

Two births. Two precious girls. Two very different beginnings.

One life began with nine months of careful preparation and daily readings from What to Expect When You're Expecting. The second began with little time to prepare or to read much else than required paperwork. The first began in the early morning in our hometown. The second began in the late evening in a city we'd never seen. The first began with my husband at my side in a labor and delivery room. The second began as we nervously paced the floors of our hotel room, waiting for the phone to ring. The first began with new life that grew in and came from my own body. The second began with new life that developed in and emerged from another young woman's body.

Two births. Two precious girls. Two very different beginnings. One life entered our family through birth, the other entered our family through adoption.

Looking back, I could argue that I wasn't really prepared for the realities of either arrival. Sure, I'd read all about what to do when we brought our first baby home. But I didn't fully grasp the reality of sleep deprivation until I'd experienced four or five nights of nursing on demand. Even though we listened to birthmothers tell their stories as part of our adoption agency's preparation class, we didn't really know how we'd feel when we looked into our birthmother's young and beautiful green eyes. No one could have prepared us for the nervous panic we felt leaving the hospital with our firstborn, unsure that we knew which way the diaper went. And surely no one could have prepared us for the bittersweet mixture of sorrow and joy we felt the moment our daughter left her birthmother's arms for ours.

Ours is an unfolding story of God's grace in the midst of starkly different circumstances. I share it with the hope that it may help others who are considering or beginning the adoption journey prepare for its both beautiful and challenging realities.

Greg and Katina, parents of two biological children, are one such couple. They're considering adoption, praying and thinking about the possibility for their family.

"We have room, we have love," says Katina. "There are so many little people out there who need a good home. Why would we not adopt?"

Katina says they're considering both the practical and spiritual dimensions of adopting a child. "God tells us in Scripture that as Christians, we're to take care of orphans and widows," she says (see James 1:27). "Where do we fit in with that command? Are we called to adopt? Or is God asking us to be involved in some other way?" It's a big question. Greg and Katina are wise to address their concerns and face the realities of adoption before they decide to welcome a child into their family.

No First PageNo Previous PagePage 1 of 4Next PageLast Page

Sign up for TCW's free ParentConnect e-newsletter for weekly updates and help and encouragement for raising the next generation of Christ-followers.

not a subscriber?

Subscribe for only $9.95 yearly!
Start here for complete access to Today's Christian Woman—a mentor to help you love God more deeply and live fearlessly.

Next Steps

Downloadable resources to go deeper

Growing Faith in Your Growing Teen

Your key role in nurturing your child's spiritual development
How Do I Define Myself?

How Do I Define Myself?

My identity needs to come from something other than what I do.

ratings & comments

Average User Rating:

Displaying 1–3 of 4 comments

Addison Cooper

November 06, 2012  6:34pm

Really excellent article! I appreciate the encouragement towards openness. I've often trained adoptive parents and encouraged them towards openness, but I've focused more on openness with the members of the child's birth family. Your article really shines a great light on openness between the adopting family and the child, and I appreciate that personally and professionally. Thanks for a great article! I also agree with what you said about couples needing to grieve their infertility. I found a pretty good example of a couple processing infertility in an unexpected place: The Odd Life of Timothy Green. It's worth a look :) I reviewed it from an adoption perspective at http://www.adoptionlcsw.com/2012/10/adoption-at-movies.html

Report Abuse


November 06, 2012  5:00pm

Thank you for sharing your insight and wisdom with the realities of adoption. Although I am single, I would like to adopt and this gives me more understanding of what will or may occur should I adopt.

Report Abuse

Cindy Bigelo

November 06, 2012  8:03am

There is great wisdom in this well written and thoughtful article. It is one that should become a part of agency and church adoption support ministries "required reading." Thank you, Lisa, for sharing wonderful insight from both your own experience and that of other post adoption professionals.

Report Abuse

Rate and comment on this article: *



1000 character limit

* Comments may be edited for tone and clarity.

More For Women