Renewing Our Vows
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During our first year of marriage, Michael turned to me. I don't remember the context or the occasion for his words, but I remember what he said. "Marriage isn't celebrated nearly enough," Michael said. "How about, every five years, we either throw a big party or go on a trip?"
I agreed and smiled, tucking away what he said in the back of my mind.
Last spring, as our five-year anniversary was approaching, I reminded Michael of those words.
"How about a vow-renewal party to celebrate five years?" I asked him. My little sister was getting married within the year, and I had been looking at wedding blogs and magazines with her. Vow renewals were becoming more popular, and as a romantic, I was smitten with the idea.
He raised his eyebrows quizzically. "What would that involve?"
"It would basically be a party where we have a short ceremony and say our marriage vows again. I think it would be a great chance to celebrate God's faithfulness to us over these last five years."
A week later, after thinking and praying together, we decided to nail down a date. "I love the idea," Michael told me. "We can recommit to one another in front of our community and celebrate the gift of marriage together!"
A Community-Focused Celebration
Michael and I love our marriage, and although our marriage has not (yet) been long in years, we act as a source of counsel, encouragement, and challenge to many other couples in our church, where Michael is a pastor. We are strong proponents of marriage and love helping others catch the vision of biblically centered and peace-filled unions.
Together, we started brainstorming about the deeper purpose of our vow renewal.
"You know, we didn't know any of the people in our church when we got married five years ago," I mentioned to him.
Michael was nodding. "It's crazy, isn't it? Because we moved to a different church, our entire community has changed since the wedding. So many times, I've thought about how strange it is that none of our current friends were there when we got married."
"Right! And I know that they know we're committed to our marriage vows, but there is something really meaningful about speaking vows in front of people who see you week in and week out."
Michael was tapping his pen on the kitchen table. "That's a big part of the reason I'm really getting excited about this party. Saying our vows again—with our friends there—gives us and them a higher level of accountability in our marriage." He stopped tapping his pen and looked at me, then at the list of people we were going to invite. "This will be so fun."
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Carina Peterson
Wow, Thank you Ann and ladies. My husband initiated and has planned for a vow renewal service this Friday. It is affirming to hear your experiences and their depth of meaning and simplicity in action. When I shared what we are planning with friends they are thrilled to be a part of it so I got busy over planning the event. I am inspired to get refocused on the depth. I love the braid and marriage knot and adding new vows. Thank you again Ann, Victoria and Betty!
Betty
My husband and i renewed our wedding vows on our 39th anniversary. We too were among friends who weren't at our first wedding, but a few were there that had been at our first one. My husband and I wrote our vows this time and I have the ones he wrote me framed hanging in our bedroom. There was one thing we did at this one that we didn't do at the first one. This time we braided a marriage knot the symbolizes Christ in the middle and intertwined with our lives. It was a beautiful ceremony celebrated with family and friends and Christ was definitely in the center of it. After 39 years I wanted to renew our vows because our lives have been so blessed and we have grown and I think our love has stood the test of time. We wanted to show others how important marriage is and how if Christ is in the center of it, you can survive anything. I love my husband more today than I ever thought possible and i would remarry him again in a heartbeat.
Victoria Taylor
Ann, Thank you…this is so wonderful. My husband and I have been wanting to do this…we've been married for eight years, but when we would tell friends, they would say, why would you do that. The way you put it was so amazing. We didn't recite our own vows…when we first got married, we repeated, word for word what the Pastor said. I was 18 and my husband was 20, I'm not sure what he was thinking about in that moment…but I was just in awe of him, and the fact that he wanted to marry me that I didn't savor the words that I was repeating. My heart was beating and it was a very private ceremony, with a few of our family members and church members that we hardly knew because we were new to the church as well. I was hoping we could wait until our 10th year…and make it big…but why wait! Let's do it this coming year, I told my husband and he was delighted. I feel that God is using our marriage to help others, and the act of renewal may help someone else fall in love all over again. Best!
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