Jump directly to the content
How to Pick a Fight with God

How to Pick a Fight with God

Real relationship demands real honesty
Average Rating:

When was the last time you fought with God? When's the last time you really had it out? I don't know about you, but fighting with God doesn't sit well with me. First of all, I don't like fights I can't win. Given God's obvious omnipotence, it seems like it's my job to just take what he gives and deal with the rest. And isn't that what most of us do? We take something hard and we try to find a way to live with it. We may blame others for our struggles or we may blame ourselves. We look for ways to correct it on our own and we cut God out of it because it's a fight we know we can't win.

What if we choose to fight with God because we love him?

But what if the reason for fighting with God isn't about winning or getting our way, but about something that our hearts need even more? What if we choose to fight with God because we love him? What if we do the hard work of resolving conflict because that's what people in relationship do?

Fighting with purpose

There is no one who can get me more angry than my husband. Why do I get so mad? Because it is important to me that I feel known and understood by him. Whenever we are out of step in a way that makes me feel undervalued or disregarded, I want to fight. But the fight isn't for the purpose of being right (Okay, sometimes it's about being right . . . ). A good fight is for the purpose of being heard. A good fight is because I want to be back in sync. I want to live in oneness with my husband, where I know he hears me, he understands me, and he loves me. And if I'm really honest, those things are more important than whatever "thing" it is that I want him to fix.

Apply that same logic to your relationship with God. Sometimes we're angry at God because we aren't getting our way. We feel he hasn't held up his part of the deal. We want to get away from him. Perhaps we believed that life would look trouble-free because of him. So we distance ourselves because we feel like he's let us down.

If that's you right now, then that's an honest place to be. Getting as specific as you can about what you think God was supposed to be or do for you is the very first step. If you feel like God has let you down, try to write it out. What specifically do you think he's supposed to make happen? And what is the hoped-for outcome of that action? Usually, our thoughts end in something like "and that will make me happy," or "and that's what I want." Getting honest and specific like this will help you identify the condition by which you feel loved.

No First PageNo Previous PagePage 1 of 3Next PageLast Page

Nicole Unice

Sign up for TCW's free Encouraging Words e-newsletter to start each day with inspiration and encouragement straight from God's Word.
From Issue:
Today's Christian Woman, 2014, June Week 1
Posted June 4, 2014

also in this issue

June Week 1
The Prayer that Saved My Sons (from Each Other)

The Prayer that Saved My Sons (from Each Other)

How four brothers learned to live in peace
5 Ways to Avoid Losing Your Cool with a Coworker

5 Ways to Avoid Losing Your Cool with a Coworker

How to manage conflict on the job
A Family Worth Fighting For

A Family Worth Fighting For

4 ways conflict can lead to holiness

ratings & comments

Average User Rating:

Displaying 1–3 of 4 comments

Linda Whitworth

June 10, 2014  12:34pm

What a great article! I feel so much better after reading it. I always feel like I'd be wrong if I tell God about how unhappy I am at times with things in my life. I'm always told to remember how blessed I am. But there are just times.... I just read through the book of Job. And in that, Job DEMANDS to have a face-to-face with God. A chance to hash it out. Maybe we could learn a lesson from Job.

Report Abuse

all simpson

June 10, 2014  12:09pm

God cares. Ive laid it down. It says to agree with your adversary quickly. There were fights i had but God will have the final say.

Report Abuse


June 09, 2014  8:16am

I think the article explains well that we cannot win a "fight" with God. If we do, we might end up with a very sore hip socket (see Genesis 32:25). What I liked about this article is that it encourages you to think through your emotions. I would also suggest that we should daily do some sort of review of God's characteristics. When angry or feeling sorry for myself, a review of who God is, His nature and His characteristics, helps me to trust Him in the "now". If God has been faithful to me in the past, showing Himself to be true to His nature as loving, kind, gracious, slow to anger, patient, all knowing, all wise, then why am I worrying or angry or frustrated? I long for more articles that lead women to know God and focus on God and who He is. This knowledge helps with any problem we face as we begin to see and worship God as He truly is...capable of handling any situation in our lives.

Report Abuse

Rate and comment on this article: *



1000 character limit

* Comments may be edited for tone and clarity.

More For Women
Gifted for Leadership

gifted for leadership

The Leadership Journal blog inspires and connects women leaders in church ministry
Her Meneutics


The Christianity Today  women's site provides news and analysis for evangelical women