How to Pick a Fight with God

Real relationship demands real honesty
How to Pick a Fight with God

When was the last time you fought with God? When's the last time you really had it out? I don't know about you, but fighting with God doesn't sit well with me. First of all, I don't like fights I can't win. Given God's obvious omnipotence, it seems like it's my job to just take what he gives and deal with the rest. And isn't that what most of us do? We take something hard and we try to find a way to live with it. We may blame others for our struggles or we may blame ourselves. We look for ways to correct it on our own and we cut God out of it because it's a fight we know we can't win.

What if we choose to fight with God because we love him?

But what if the reason for fighting with God isn't about winning or getting our way, but about something that our hearts need even more? What if we choose to fight with God because we love him? What if we do the hard work of resolving conflict because that's what people in relationship do?

Fighting with purpose

There is no one who can get me more angry than my husband. Why do I get so mad? Because it is important to me that I feel known and understood by him. Whenever we are out of step in a way that makes me feel undervalued or disregarded, I want to fight. But the fight isn't for the purpose of being right (Okay, sometimes it's about being right . . . ). A good fight is for the purpose of being heard. A good fight is because I want to be back in sync. I want to live in oneness with my husband, where I know he hears me, he understands me, and he loves me. And if I'm really honest, those things are more important than whatever "thing" it is that I want him to fix.

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Nicole Unice

Nicole Unice is a TCW regular contributor. Nicole is on the ministry staff of Hope Church and author of Brave Enough and She's Got Issues. She writes for a variety of magazines and speaks nationwide at retreats and leadership events. Nicole and her husband Dave have three children. You can find her blogging about honest living at

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Anger; Anxiety; Conflict; Disappointments; Expectations; Questioning; Security in God; Trusting God
Today's Christian Woman, June Week 1, 2014
Posted June 4, 2014

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