Patti in Oregon wrote: "I'm the single mother of a 10-year-old son. I recently started dating and my son is having a very difficult time dealing with my new relationship. I need some practical ideas for helping him adjust."
Here are your suggestions:
Pray together. My sister is the single mom of a 6-year-old and they often pray together for the man God has for mommy. This gives the child a sense of being involved so that when my sister begins to build friendships with men, her daughter isn't quite so threatened by it.
Pam S. ? Shelton, Washington
Provide reassurance. Your son is probably used to having you all to himself and doesn't want to share. Sit down and talk to him, explaining that you need friends just like he does, but that doesn't mean you love him any less. Above all, listen. His thoughts and feelings are very real.
Jeryl H. ? Lawrenceville, Georgia
Make special plans. Your son might be feeling left out. Plan something special for your son to do when you're on a date, like visiting a friend or seeing a ballgame.
Cheryl T. ? St. Louis, Missouri
Don't rush into it. Your son will need some time to adjust because until now, he hasn't had to share you with anyone else. Meet your date on more neutral territory, like a movie theater or restaurant. Wait until the relationship becomes more serious until you introduce your friend to your son.
Elizabeth B. ? Clermont, Florida
Have fun together. Plan some activities that you know your son will enjoy and make a date with both your son and boyfriend. Give your son the chance to interact with your boyfriend in a fun, comfortable environment. The more positive interactions your son has with your boyfriend, the more he may be willing to accept your new relationship.
Patty J. ? Corvallis, Oregon
Lori from Michigan writes: "Last fall, when we changed our clocks back for daylight savings time, it really threw off my daughter's bedtime schedule. It took us more than a month to get her back into a good routine. I'm already worrying about what will happen when we 'spring' forward. Can you help?"
Send your parenting solutions to the address below. We pay $25 for published "Can You Help?" responses.
We'd love to hear from you!
Drop us a line at:
Christian Parenting Today
465 Gundersen Drive
Carol Stream, IL 60188
fax: (630) 260-0114
Copyright © 2000 by the author or Christianity Today/Christian Parenting Today Magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Christian Parenting Today.